Saturday, November 2, 2013

Woman's Best Friend: Dedication to Josephine

I truly haven't been on in a while and it's mainly because of my access to the internet. No matter how smart they proclaim our smartphones to be, they can be pretty dumb sometimes. I've been trying to fix the problem but it just won't let me.
Anyway, the second reason I haven't been on is because my family and I had to tend to our sickly cat. A lot of people call dogs "man's best friend", so I decided to call the cat "woman's best friend". Others would laugh and say that a woman who's close to her cat is a loner, but that's not always true. If a man has the option of having the dog be called his best friend, then women have the same option for a cat.
I love my cat dearly and I wanted to dedicate this post to her:

My cat's name is Josephine, but I tended to barely ever call her that. I called her "Kitty" since I was little (I had a tendency to call our previous [2] cats "Kitty" too). Since we didn't know exactly when she was born, I picked her birthday which was August 15, 2002. It was easy to remember since my brother's b-day was in August and my uncle's b-day was on a 15th. We knew she was born in August of 2002, though, so it wasn't a big deal.
My mother brought her home when she was two months, in October (the month my mother and I are born in). She was such a pretty cat to me, gray with stripes down her side with very light spots and a white belly. Her green eyes always seemed to glow. At first, she didn't really like me, always finding a reason to hiss at me or scratch me in some way. But I was too persistent, so I guess she gave in.
I loved her little antics around the house, and how fun it was watching her silliness. Sometimes she'd fall off the window sill and on a table unharmed after she had been playing too hard. Other times, she would be sleeping on the couch when she wasn't supposed to and get scared each time we yelled her awake. She'd practically fly across the room. One time, my sister yelled at her and Josephine jumped up, tried to run, but instead slammed into the arm of the couch. Again, unharmed. Then she was also a crazy cat who loved to jump off walls. It's weird how long ago this all was...it doesn't even seem like it was more than five years ago this all happened. But everyone grows up and nearly everyone will eventually feel tired.
I'm not going to get all into her craziness, so I'll just state what's happened these past couple of months. My cat had been sick for a while, probably since a little before the summer of 2012. She had these soft lumps on her belly that started to grow bigger and bigger with each month. I constantly told my mother but she insisted that she had no money to take her to the vet. I kept on getting that same answer until Josephine's condition finally worsened during last summer (2013). She had just turned 11, and it was critical we take her to the vet pronto. The lumps at first did not have a color to them when they first appeared. Then they grew purple and were growing harder. Then the color finalized into red and had got infected because she constantly licked them before we could take her anywhere. By this time, it was obvious she had breast cancer. And when we had taken her finally, I felt like I was being ignored about our cat's health since 2012. I felt like my mother could have done something before. But it was inevitable. Later in August,  Josephine got her surgery and her lumps were allegedly removed. You will find out why I say "allegedly" soon enough.
Our cat didn't seem to have any problems whatsoever for the rest of August all the way till the end of October. I could pick her up again. She had no problem meowing. She wasn't weak. The only problems we had with her was that she hated the cone ("cone of shame" I call it, like from the movie Up) and her medicine. Since she wasn't weak, she had no problem trying to make her getaway. We gave it to her though. The doctors told my sister that in the x-ray, I believe, that the cancer had not reached her lungs yet and that the surgery was to correct the cancer she did have.
But they were wrong. They didn't exactly tell us that she had such a huge risk of getting sick again after the surgery. This time, she wasn't sick the way she was before. This time, Josie had a hard time breathing. She didn't have any motive to come out of her sleeping area that she made for herself in the window, unless it was to eat. She looked more sluggish than she had ever been before. I once saw her -- it was Wednesday of that week --in the bedroom window, sleeping. She was breathing faster than normal. That night, I felt like I was seeing less of her. The next evening, my mother starts worrying where Josie is, and I help in trying to find her with the rest of the family. This was last Thursday. I found her in the closet hiding from us, hissing at me to go away. I picked her up and she felt so light. We decided to give her medicine, her antibiotics. We struggled to give it to her again but this time, she was too tired and exhausted to really resist. All she could do was lay down, pant, and let it drool out of her mouth. We did this again the next morning. And then for the last time that night. This was last Friday. She became overwhelmed by her shortness of breath and tried to keep breathing. I tried to give her water but it proved ineffective.
The way cats are made, their bodies near death would try their hardest to fight off whatever is inflicting them. It's their way of saying, "I want to please you, so I'll try my hardest." The truth is that they do wish to please you. That's why many cats and dogs are not willing to let you see them suffer. They will hide from you when they near death. They get depressed around you if they are dying and they see how much you truly loved them. Many people would say they don't have emotions, or that they can't really think for themselves, or that they may not understand human emotions, but I believe they do all of that and more. Some people may not be emotionally attached to their pets like I am, but others like me consider pets a part of the family and it's hard seeing them gone. No, I haven't been mourning her all week but yes, I have been missing her all week. I mourned for three days and missed her the rest of the week. My cat, my Josephine, my Kitty, my pet, my family member. I will miss her dearly and no other cat can ever replace her.
She died the same month that she was welcomed into our home, October. With the birthday I had given her, she lived for 11 years, two months, and ten days.
R.I.P., S.I.P., Josephine a.k.a. Josie, Kitty, "Wose" (August 15, 2002-October 25, 2013)

I'm sorry if this was so long for those reading this, especially since it was mainly about my cat. I just felt like getting that out. I don't know when my next post will be though, but I hope I can make it soon.

Sunday, October 20, 2013

Extra Poems 2

I wrote these two poems a while ago. The first one can be interpreted as the subject being God, but I normally don't think of it that way. The second one is just a poem I wrote for the people who feel down about their "loneliness".

A Picture

A picture in the sky, way above my head
Beauty there lies, quite enough said
A white ball of fluff all year round
Not one whisper, not one hint of a sound
Yet it may turn gray and make the heavens roar
Light shoots across the sky more and more
Scared you may be but there's nothing to fear
'cause that white ball of fluff hangs over you near

To Shine

How wonderful it must be to shine
Shine just like a star
For people to acknowledge you
To know who and what you are
To know you come in groups and clusters
No, you're not alone
For you to have a billion friends
Yes, you're not alone
People will come to acknowledge
Though you're close yet far (No, you're not alone)
People will come to acknowledge
For who and what you are (Yes, you're not alone)

Again, I'm pretty pleased with my poems. I'm actually wondering if I write too many of them. I don't feel like a poet, so I don't know why I write them. I guess poems are just easier to write than short stories because they don't need a plot. And they're easy to end. Anyway, thank you for reading this post <3

My Sketch of Desna (LoK)


This is one of my drawings that I've done. I said that I was an artist and that I liked anime-style art as well. This is a sketch of Desna from the Avatar: The Last Airbender's sequel, Legend of Korra. This was drawn before the actual series premiered.
As you can see, this is not what the actual picture looks like. It's been edited with my photo editor, PicsArt on Android. I used cross process to give it the bluish color and saturated it. I used contrast on it but not too much. I've also used hi-def resolution on it because I tend to draw really lightly, and I couldn't see much of it in the original pic. Part of the pic is blurred (where his hair is) because I used a focal zoom to concentrate on his face. And lastly, I added the artistic design the editor provided me (the purplish....things.....on the edges).
Oddly, I think I'm more satisfied with the photo than I am with the actual sketch. I hope you like it.

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Extra Poems

I've never been kissed before but I decided to write this poem.

My First Kiss

Amazing, it was!
My mind was high,
High above the clouds.
And my stomach fluttered,
The cocoons have hatched.
My heart raced
To the finish line.
And it keeps going!
My lips warmed
By his touch.
We were the only
Two people there,
Stranded on a deserted planet
In a whole 'nother galaxy,
A whole 'nother universe.

This poem is a simple poem I wrote. It was supposed to give me inspiration for a short story but I had never gotten to it.

Enlightenment

Here, under the stars and the moon
Guided by their light,
I lift my soul to the heavens
And I am given sight

From the Heart

From the Heart

Poems from the heart
Don't come easy to me
I try and I try
For my words to just be
The rhythm doesn't flow
And the words don't come
Just a few more words
And I could be done
But I'll keep on going
Till content I will be
'Cause I need to express myself
Yet it drives me crazy
Think, La, think
And finish this piece
But I can't find words
But “to be or not to be"

God's World

This is a poem I had written last year. I'm Catholic but I could never call myself religious. I'm actually one to argue about the Bible and God, but that doesn't mean I don't have my beliefs about it. I do believe in God but I am a defender of many religions.
I quote Muhammad Ali: "Rivers, ponds, lakes and streams--they all have different names, but they all contain water. Just like religions do--they all contain truths." Many religions, I'll admit, are weird in a way, but I really like learning about them nonetheless. Religion makes a person, whether they believe in God(s) or not. This doesn't mean I don't like to debate though. I accept beliefs but love to think things over.
The poem I wrote is almost like freestyle rhyming (i like to call it that at least); it doesn't necessarily follow a pattern, but most of it still rhymes. It deals with God's perfection and the sinners who aren't redeemed or saved. I refuse to believe that there is anything but Heaven and purgatory. I believe God is a merciful god who maintains His ever-benevolent ways. I do not intend to make fun of the Bible; this was just me criticizing my family's mixed views about God being ever-benevolent only when you are alive, and certainly not after death despite ever-benevolent meaning eternally forgiving.

God's World

I live in a neutral place
Where good and bitter tastes
Lies in every heart
I live on a neutral land
Where good and bad go hand and hand
Where fear is everywhere,
Where nature and I do part
I'd hate to see the day
When evil goes away
And the souls it lies in will never stay
They burn for all eternity
Never to be once set free
The good are all filled with glee
As they are now part of God's family
The burning people shall rot to death
Useless and meaningless was their first breath
Of God's Sweet, Enjoyable Gift of Life
Thank God for those joyful and free from sin
For they won and sit in God's Heaven
Lucky are those who feel no pain,
Yet "God's Children" burn with no life to gain
"It is justifiable punishment," the Mighty Lord claims
They cry and they wail and they ask for forgiveness
Oh, how they ask for eternal death to be painless
But this loving punishment is righteous and just
So killing them eternally is certainly a must
They wish for help but it never comes
Their arms stretched, reaching for a desired home
But they cannot reach it for they must have wings
They should have been good
But  love hurts and it stings
They hear laughter from the heavens above
They know now that they will never feel God's love
This is peace, the Holy Spirit, God's Holy White Dove
Someone save them, save them from this tyranny
Save them from God's "Loving Mercy"
But no one can stand up to God's rule
Cry for God's Children
But, then, welcome to God's World
Thank God they chose to sin
Welcome to God's World
Where you can "win"

If You Come Softly by Audre Lorde

I am a fan of poetry and other writings, but I don't think I'm as good as a lot of other people. I wanted to share a piece that I had found in a book by Jacqueline Woodson. The book is also entlitled If you come softly. I found the poem to be sweet so here it is:

 

If you come softly by Audre Lorde


If you come softly
  as the wind within the trees
You may hear what I hear
  See what sorrow sees
And if you come I will be silent
  Nor speak harsh words to you
I will not ask you why now,
  Or how, or what you do.
We shall sit here, softly
  Beneath two different years
And the rich earth between us
 Shall drink our tears.

Friday, October 18, 2013

Trial

Since I am new to blogging, I think I will try out different topics and different styles of writing. I never really show people my short stories (most of which are never finished),  or poems, so I will share one in this post.
This came from a little article I read in a writing magazine. I don't necessarily remember what the style was called, but for now I'll call it a "flash poem" (like flash fiction), not that it rhymed or anything. The article was about how a man had killed a priest because he found out his wife was cheating on him with this "holy" man.
 This was my response to the article:

 Title: Trial

 "How do you find him?"
 I grew impatient...
 Boiling with growing hatred.
 It was like losing consciousness.
 Losing concentration.
 It's hard to think
 What happened?
 Had I truly killed him?
 The priest...I'm a murderer
 A murderer in the face of God
 I thought about it: I was relieved, rather.
 "We find the defendant guilty...Your Honor..."
 They were taking me away
 But I was in a whole 'nother world
 By myself...
 And I menacing...chuckled to myself...

 I wanted to make the story shorter but I guess that didn't really work. I wanted at least in the sixties. But I wanted to get into his head so.......Anyway, I was pretty satisfied with this. Thank you for reading :-)